HOW TO GO FROM SILENT OBSERVER TO CONVERSATION LEADER
Have you ever felt like you're not as confident in group conversations as you'd like to be?
Picture this: You're in a crucial meeting with your team or at a networking event, surrounded by influential people in your field. You have valuable insights and perspectives to share, but you find yourself hesitating, fearing that your voice might not carry the same weight as others. If you've ever experienced this, you're not alone. Many women leaders have been in the same position.
Today, we're going to explore the art of becoming a conversation leader, even when your confidence might not be at its peak. Conversations are the foundation of our professional and personal lives, and it's essential that you not only participate in them but lead them with grace and authority.
THE POWER OF CONVERSATION
Conversations are the building blocks of human connection and success. They're the spaces where ideas are exchanged, relationships are formed, and decisions are made. As a women leader, especially in male-dominated fields, it's crucial for you to not just be part of these conversations but to lead them. So, how can you start?
Let's begin by understanding the power of a good conversation. Think about the most memorable conversations you've had in your career. What made them stand out? It's often the connection, the exchange of valuable insights, and the sense of unity that these conversations created. As a leader, it's your role to facilitate these powerful moments.
EMBRACING YOUR UNIQUENESS
The first step is to embrace your uniqueness. You bring something special to the table, and it's time to recognize and own it. What are your strengths? What perspectives do you bring as a woman in your field? How can these qualities enhance the conversations you're part of? Embracing your uniqueness will boost your confidence and make you more eager to contribute.
For example, if you've faced challenges or biases as a woman in your industry, that experience can offer valuable insights and empathy. It's not a weakness; it's a strength that can help you lead with a compassionate and inclusive approach.
ACTIVE LISTENING
A critical skill on the journey from observer to leader is active listening. Often, people think leadership in conversations means talking the most, but it's the opposite. To lead a conversation effectively, you must be an excellent listener.
Active listening is about more than just hearing words. It's about showing genuine interest in what others are saying, asking questions to delve deeper into their ideas, and engaging with the perspectives presented. When people feel heard and respected, they are more likely to follow your lead. So, how can you improve your active listening skills?
One technique is to practice reflective listening, where you paraphrase what the speaker has said to ensure you understand their point. Another is to maintain eye contact and nodding to signal your engagement and interest in the conversation.
PREPARATION
Another key to becoming a conversation leader is preparation. It's okay to do your homework. If you're about to discuss a particular topic, spend some time researching it in advance. When you're well-prepared, you'll speak with more confidence, and your contributions will be more insightful. Remember, confidence comes from competence.
Imagine you're preparing for an important meeting with your team or a client. Take the time to gather the necessary information, anticipate potential questions, and formulate your key points. This preparation will not only boost your confidence but also enhance the quality of your contributions to the conversation.
SPEAKING WITH AUTHORITY
Now, let's talk about speaking with authority. Confidence is not about being the loudest or most assertive person in the room. It's about speaking with clarity and conviction.
What usually happens in a group situation for you if you are more on the passive side, is you hold back, listen to what everybody else is saying, you might think of jumping into the conversation but because everybody is talking at the same time you can't find the gap where you can do that.
The longer you wait, the more uncomfortable you get. And the harder it is for you to jump into the conversation. Does this sound familiar to you?
One way to avoid this happening to you is to be the first to speak up in the conversation. There are a number of benefits of being the first to speak up.
The first is that it will make you feel more confident because you’ve taken charge and you've assumed the position of conversation leader.
The second benefit is that it makes you look confident to others. Because you’re in the position of conversation leader, others will see you as more confident.
The third benefit is that others will be grateful to you for speaking first. Not everybody is prepared when they go into group conversations. By you being the first to speak up, you help to take the attention off of them and you make them feel more relaxed.
When you have a point to make, do so confidently, even if your voice shakes a little. Your authority comes from the content of your message and your delivery.
Let's say you have a unique solution to a problem your team is facing. Share it with conviction, explain why you believe it’s the right approach, and be open to feedback.
Remember, leadership in conversation isn't about dominating the discussion but about guiding it toward meaningful and productive outcomes.
OVERCOMING SELF-DOUBT
It's natural to have moments of self-doubt, but don't let them hold you back. Whenever those doubts creep in, remind yourself of your unique strengths and experiences. Remember that your perspective matters.
The key is to acknowledge your doubts and choose to move forward despite them.
PRACTICE MAKES PERFECT
Like anything in life, practice makes perfect. The more you engage in conversations and practice your leadership skills, the more confident you'll become.
Joining speaking clubs, practicing with friends or colleagues, or even role-playing can be helpful ways to build your skills. By the way – this is the part of my VIP signature coaching program that I enjoy every time. The goal is not to eliminate all nervousness but to build the resilience to push through it and become a more effective leader in conversations.
THE POWER OF BODY LANGUAGE
Don't underestimate the power of body language. Your non-verbal cues play a significant role in how your message is received.
Stand tall, make eye contact, and use open and inviting gestures. Your body language should reflect your confidence and enthusiasm. For instance, when you're leading a presentation, your posture, gestures, and facial expressions can make a significant difference in how your message is perceived.
HANDLING CRITICISM
As you step into the role of a conversation leader, you may encounter criticism or resistance. Don't be discouraged by this. Instead, use criticism as an opportunity to learn and grow.
Stay open to feedback and adapt, when necessary, but also have the courage to stand your ground when you believe in your perspective.
Criticism isn't always a reflection of your shortcomings; it can also be a sign that you're challenging the status quo, which is often needed for progress.
And there you have it. Going from a silent observer to a confident conversation leader is a journey that takes time and effort, but it's a journey worth embarking on.
Embrace your uniqueness, listen actively, prepare, speak with authority, and remember that practice makes perfect. You have a vital role to play in the conversations within your field, and your voice deserves to be heard.
Thank you for tuning in to "Women Leaders Unlimited" today. I hope you found this episode insightful and valuable. Please share it with your fellow women leaders who might benefit from these insights.
Don't forget to subscribe, leave a review, and connect with me for more empowering content. Until next time, keep leading those conversations with confidence.
Remember: You are powerful and unstoppable and it’s time for you to show it!
Choose to be the best version of yourself today!
It’s all up to you!