23: Why It’s OK to Be Perfectly Imperfect and how to let go

Perfection or striving for perfection has been the death of many dreams and good intentions.

Hey there, amazing women leaders! Welcome, and today, we're diving into a topic that I know hits close to home for so many of us: the concept of being perfectly imperfect. Yes, you heard that right—embracing your imperfections and letting go of the relentless pursuit of perfection.

We’re going to explore why striving for perfection can be the reason you don’t achieve your goals, and how embracing your imperfections can actually unlock your true potential. Ready to dive in? Let's get started!

Find the full transcript for this episode and other resources for women leaders at womenleadersunlimited.com/23.

Juanita is a Professional and Personal Mentor for Women Leaders.

As a woman executive in a male-dominated industry, the challenges you face are unique and demanding. Balancing your role in a support function often seen as a hindrance to production can make each day an uphill battle. I understand these challenges because I’ve been there too.

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Transcript

Perfection or striving for perfection has been the death of many dreams and good intentions.

Hey there, amazing women leaders! Welcome, and today, we're diving into a topic that I know hits close to home for so many of us: the concept of being perfectly imperfect. Yes, you heard that right—embracing your imperfections and letting go of the relentless pursuit of perfection.

We’re going to explore why striving for perfection can be the reason you don’t achieve your goals, and how embracing your imperfections can actually unlock your true potential. Ready to dive in? Let's get started!

Find the full transcript for this episode and other resources for women leaders at womenleadersunlimited.com/23.

The Perfection Trap

Let's start with something we've all experienced: the perfection trap. Have you ever found yourself delaying a project because it’s not quite perfect yet? Or maybe you've hesitated to speak up in a meeting because you’re afraid you might not have the perfect answer. Perfectionism can paralyze us, keeping us from taking action and moving forward.

Think about it. When we aim for perfection, we set an unattainable standard. Perfection, by its very nature, is elusive and subjective. What’s perfect to one person might be flawed to another. This constant striving can lead to burnout, frustration, and even a loss of self-worth. So, why do we put ourselves through this?

The Myth of Perfection

One reason we fall into the perfection trap is the myth of perfection itself. Society often glorifies flawless achievements, creating an illusion that perfection is not only attainable but necessary for success. We see perfectly curated images on social media, read stories of overnight successes, and hear about leaders who seem to have it all together. But remember, what we see is just the highlight reel—not the full picture.

Behind every successful person, there are countless moments of struggle, failure, and imperfection. These are the moments that build resilience, character, and growth. Embracing your imperfections means acknowledging that they are a natural part of the journey toward success.

The Power of Vulnerability

Now, let’s talk about vulnerability. You might be wondering, “What does vulnerability have to do with imperfection?” Well, everything! When you allow yourself to be vulnerable, you’re embracing your true self, flaws and all. Vulnerability is not a weakness; it’s a powerful strength that connects us on a deeper level.

Brené Brown, a renowned researcher on vulnerability, says that vulnerability is the birthplace of innovation, creativity, and change. When you show up authentically, without hiding behind a facade of perfection, you inspire others to do the same. Your willingness to be perfectly imperfect can foster trust, collaboration, and a more authentic connection with those around you.

Real-Life Example: Embracing Imperfection

Let me share a real-life example. A client of mine, let’s call her Sarah, was a high-achieving executive who struggled with perfectionism. She felt immense pressure to be the best at everything she did, which often led to stress and burnout. Through our coaching sessions, Sarah began to understand that her imperfections were not weaknesses but opportunities for growth.

Sarah started to embrace her mistakes as learning experiences. She opened up to her team about her struggles, which not only strengthened her relationships but also created a more supportive work environment. By letting go of the need to be perfect, Sarah found more joy and fulfilment in her work and personal life.

The Beauty of Imperfection

There’s a beautiful Japanese art form called Kintsugi, which means “golden joinery.” It’s the practice of repairing broken pottery with gold lacquer, highlighting the cracks rather than hiding them. The philosophy behind Kintsugi is that the piece is more beautiful for having been broken. This is a powerful metaphor for our own lives.

Our imperfections and struggles add depth and richness to our experiences. They make us who we are. Embracing your imperfections allows you to see the beauty in your journey, recognizing that every crack and flaw is a testament to your resilience and growth.

Letting Go of Perfectionism

So, how do you start letting go of perfectionism? Here are a few practical steps:

Set Realistic Goals: Aim for progress, not perfection. Set achievable goals that challenge you but don’t set you up for failure.

Celebrate Small Wins: Acknowledge and celebrate your achievements, no matter how small. Every step forward is a victory.

Practice Self-Compassion: Be kind to yourself. Treat yourself with the same compassion and understanding that you would offer a friend.

Embrace Failure: See failure as a stepping stone to success. Each failure is a lesson that brings you closer to your goals.

Seek Support: Surround yourself with a supportive network of friends, family, and mentors who encourage you to be your authentic self.

The Role of Self-Compassion

Self-compassion plays a crucial role in overcoming perfectionism. It’s about giving yourself permission to be human—to make mistakes, to fail, and to learn. Kristin Neff, a leading researcher on self-compassion, identifies three elements: self-kindness, common humanity, and mindfulness.

Self-kindness involves treating yourself with understanding rather than harsh judgment. Common humanity recognizes that everyone makes mistakes and experiences challenges; it’s part of the shared human experience. Mindfulness means being present with your feelings without over-identifying with them.

When you practice self-compassion, you create a safe space to explore your imperfections and grow from them. You become more resilient, more adaptable, and ultimately, more successful.

The Impact on Leadership

As a woman leader, embracing your imperfections can transform your leadership style. Leaders who acknowledge their own vulnerabilities and imperfections create a more inclusive and empowering environment. Your team will feel more comfortable taking risks, sharing their ideas, and learning from their mistakes.

Authentic leadership is about being real, not perfect. When you lead with authenticity, you inspire others to bring their whole selves to the table, fostering a culture of trust and collaboration. Your willingness to be perfectly imperfect can be a powerful catalyst for positive change in your organization.

Practical Tips for Embracing Imperfection in Leadership

Here are some practical tips for embracing imperfection in your leadership journey:

#1 Share Your Story: Open up about your own challenges and failures. This vulnerability can build trust and rapport with your team.

#2 Encourage Experimentation: Create a safe space for your team to experiment and innovate without fear of failure.

#3 Model Resilience: Show how you bounce back from setbacks and use them as learning opportunities.

#4 Promote Work-Life Balance: Encourage your team to prioritize their well-being and recognize that perfection is not the goal.

#5 Celebrate Diversity: Embrace diverse perspectives and approaches, recognizing that different doesn’t mean imperfect.

The Journey to Self-Acceptance

Embracing imperfection is ultimately about self-acceptance. It’s about acknowledging that you are enough just as you are. It’s about letting go of the need for external validation and finding peace within yourself.

Self-acceptance doesn’t mean complacency; it means recognizing your worth and potential despite your flaws. It’s a continuous journey of growth, learning, and self-discovery. And it’s a journey worth taking.

Conclusion

As we wrap up today’s episode, I want to leave you with this thought: 

You are perfectly imperfect, and that’s what makes you powerful. Embrace your imperfections, let go of the need for perfection, and watch as you unlock your true potential.

Thank you for joining me on this journey. Remember, the world needs your authentic self, not a flawless version of you. Keep shining, keep growing, and keep being perfectly imperfect.